Perception really is REALITY

I know everyone has heard the phrase "perception is reality" a thousand times, but I think I just started believing it. For example, I was always completely, one hundred percent against divorce. If anyone had asked me what I thought of divorce, I would of told them "I don't believe in it". For a long time, in my what most would call "brief" marriage, I tried to make it work because I didn't believe in divorce. I thought that two people, as wrong as they could possibly be for each other, could make it work...against all odds. It's just not true.

So, I say, perception really is reality. My perception of divorce totally changed when I realized that I had made the mistake of my life by getting married to someone to which I was completely incompatible. I don't think my mistake was the divorce, but rather the marriage itself. I wanted so badly to live the "American Dream". Husband, job, house, kids...the whole nine yards. I wanted it, until I pretty much had it (minus the kids, thank God), because who I had it with, wasn't who I should have had it with. I'm not sure if our relationship fell apart before or after the marriage began. I'm not even sure we ever had a good relationship. What I am sure of is that I made the absolute right decision by ending our marriage.

As with many things in my life, I am learning you can't pass judgment or really have an opinion on some things, until you are in the position to make those decisions. You only live once and everyone has a right to love and be loved in their lifetime. No one deserves to be trapped in any sort of situation or relationship for the entirety of their life, just because they once upon a time thought they could "make it work". I'm not saying marriage isn't work, any relationship worth anything is...but both people should be "working" and in the end, it should be worth all the effort.

So, again, I say, Perception is Reality. My reality is that I married the wrong person. I don't believe divorce should be used as a means to an end, but that you really should marry the person you can't live without. The person that makes everything in the world around you stop. Everyone should marry the love of their life, or have the chance to and I hope we all find that person.

To Everything There is a Season

It seems that as with the seasons, my life has changed. It's changed over and over again lately. Never one day the same as the next. I feel perpetually caught in between the joy and excitement of not knowing what's coming next and the absolute fear I have of not having my life planned out before me. Something about being 25, newly divorced, recently unemployed and moving entirely across the country on a whim, makes me a little uncomfortable. I guess kudos to me for stepping outside of my comfort zone.

Six months ago, I wasn't happy, but I would've claimed that I had an idea of where my life would be 10 years down the road. These days, I don't know what my life will hold next week, nevermind next month, or next year. I have placed my faith in the notion that all things happen for a reason...and whatever that reason may be, I am tethered to it...at least for the time being.